When the life falls apart

Few months ago my life started to fall apart.

In March, I learned that I was going through  the process of my transplanted kidney rejection. I had it for 11 years and visibly I was going to lose it and go back to the exhausting process of dialysis .

I had to stay in hospital for a month during which I lost many job opportunities. I missed several journeys abroad to take part in paid conferences and could not work on the different translation tasks that I had to finish.

Once outside, I was really tired and could not work as I used to do and I really started to have financial problems as I am still ill and my medication is very expensive.

Moreover, I broke with my boyfriend who turned into a violent person and could not understand the seriousness of my health problems.

The icing on the cake was the fact that I also lost a  small job which helped me to survive for few months.

In a 4-month period I lost it all.My money, love, health, security, and pride.

My health was shot and is continuing to decline.My mind is a mess.My heart is broken. I have no money.I am lost.

In the past, I used to be the person others leaned on for advice and financial help.Now, I am an empty vessel without any resources.I look like hell and people do not really care about my situation. They just say that I am strong.

When I wake up in the morning I am not sure what to mourn: my health, the relationship, or the fact I could be without a dinar in one day or two ?